Shopping Cart Tracks

11 Jun

I met up with Joe and his wife for dinner last night, but when I got to the restaurant, I could only see Joe waiting there for me.

Shit, don’t tell me I am stuck alone with fucking Joe.

Luckily, Joe’s wife was just running late. Ten minutes later, she barged into the dining area.

“I hate Walmart!” she screamed, dropping her purse to the table.

“What’s wrong, dear?” Joe asked, rushing up to embrace her.

“I just wasted 45 minutes in that hell hole, trying to maneuver through the herds of people. All I needed was milk and bread! I can’t believe it took that long.”

“Well next time why don’t you just run to the mini mart on the corner?” I suggested. But she was already gone.

Lost in her own thoughts, a smile crept over her face. “I’m going to make my version of Walmart, but it’s will be so much quicker. You’ll get in and get out.”

“Oh yeah? How’s that?” Joe asked.

“Because the shopping carts will be on tracks! You go in, grab your cart, and slide it into the track. It goes all over the store, and you are forced to keep moving at a constant pace.”

“But what if you don’t know which type of cereal you want?”

“Oh, you better know! You only have a 15 second window to grab from the cereal aisle. And if you miss it, then you have to go around the track all over again. But believe me, people will love it! You’re guaranteed to get in and get out within a 10 minute window.”

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27 Responses to “Shopping Cart Tracks”

  1. gingerfightback June 17, 2012 at 6:13 AM #

    Ram the frozen food section with your cart. It is cathartic. Trust me.

  2. FoghornUnicorn June 19, 2012 at 1:27 PM #

    Oh Joe, you are enchanting! Lol!

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