“Parental” Gift

13 Jun

Parental Advisory

When Joe was a kid, he got his very own paper route. When he earned his first bit of pocket-money, he wanted to buy his mom and dad something nice.

Awww, little Joe was so sweet! What fucking happened?!

This was around 1995, right when Boom Boom Boom by the Outhere Brothers was really big. It was all over the radio, constantly playing on MTV, and Joe’s parents would always sing along. So Joe decided to buy them the Outhere Brothers CD.

At the store, there was two versions of the album. One had a ‘parental advisory’ sticker on it.

“Parental?” Joe thought. “That’s perfect!”

When Joe presented his parents with the gift, they acted really grateful, but they never once played the CD. Joe thought it was a bit weird because he knew they loved that Boom Boom Boom song. Plus, he’d bought it for them with his own money!

It was until a couple of years down the road that Joe learned what the parental advisory sticker really meant.

Oh, and if you’re not familiar with the Outhere Brothers, let me enlighten you. Here’s a few tracks from the album that Joe, as a child, bought for his parents: Bring that Ass Over Here; Orgasm; Golden Shower; I’ll Lick Your Pussy; and, who could forget, Fuk U in the Ass (Bend Over Mix).

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13 Responses to ““Parental” Gift”

  1. lazylauramaisey June 13, 2012 at 10:47 AM #

    I still know all the words to the ‘rap’ from Boom, Boom, Boom. And proud of it.

  2. itsmevichet June 13, 2012 at 11:32 AM #

    Joe sounds like a cousin I have. Really fun in small doses.

  3. nikkix2 June 13, 2012 at 12:06 PM #

    Well,,the song does have a really good rythm,,,just sayin ;)

  4. Maggie O'C June 13, 2012 at 12:18 PM #

    The Bend Over Mix….AHHHH HAHAHAHAHA

    • Mrs. P June 13, 2012 at 1:00 PM #

      No words…Maggic O’C said it all. LMAO

  5. What I Desired To Say June 13, 2012 at 1:43 PM #

    That awkward tag may be the most appropriate tag for a blog post…EVER! LOL

  6. La La June 13, 2012 at 2:22 PM #

    Geranimooooo, look out below, here comes the brother with the off beat flow!

    Oh mid 90s, my old friend. I used to jump rope to Jock Jams Volume One and I wanted the Outhere Brothers album, but my parents wouldn’t get it for me. I now have a better idea as to why…

  7. Go Jules Go June 13, 2012 at 2:56 PM #

    Ha! It’s nice to know Joe started young. Where would this (awesome) blog be without a lifetime of sh*tty ideas, after all?

  8. MailboxCook June 13, 2012 at 3:57 PM #

    funny stuff

  9. Sword-chinned bitch June 13, 2012 at 8:07 PM #

    Yeah! Great shit JSA!!

  10. drewpan June 13, 2012 at 8:52 PM #

    That song… omg… That guy kinda looks like an alternate universe Jay-Z!

  11. DumbFunnery June 14, 2012 at 10:59 PM #

    haha fantastic …

    A misguided attempt at being sweet but that is actually weird is one of my main talents.

  12. The Bumble Files June 15, 2012 at 6:46 PM #

    His heart was in the right place. That’s all that counts.

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