Friends of mine just got a brand new puppy! He’s a jack russel-yorkie mix, and he is the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen. But of course, he’s just a puppy, so he’s going to get into a bit of trouble … nothing some training can’t fix.
I was filling Joe in on the training process the proud new owners were going through, when he cut me off.
“You know what always worked for me when I was a kid?”
“You know, when I did something bad,” he continued. “My mom would wash my mouth out with soap. God I hated that; it was awful! But you know what, I never did it again.”
“Ummm okay, Joe. But you’re not a fucking dog.”
“That doesn’t matter! I bet it’d work the same way … you know what, this is a great idea!
“I’ll make two types of doggie ‘treats.’ One you give your dog when he does something good. Like if you say ‘SIT’ and he sits, well then he gets a delicious treat. But if he does something bad, like pee on the rug, he gets a soap treat. And after a few soap treats, I guarantee he’ll never do that again. Wow, this will be so easy to produce! I could have this on the shelf of Petco in a month.”
Anddddd cue the animal rights activists. Sorry, Joe, this one will never happen.