Joe is a pretty easy-going, mellow guy for the most part. It takes a lot to ruffle his feathers, and he doesn’t always stand up for himself when he’s getting picked on or taken advantage of. He’d much rather laugh it off.
But sometimes Joe has to get tough. It doesn’t always go to plan.
Once in 7th-grade gym class, Joe and his classmates were playing kickball. It was Joe’s turn to kick, and one of the other fuck-tard kids decided to “pants” him. Basically, he pulled Joe’s gym shorts to the ground, causing him to trip and land spread-eagle in his underwear across the gymnasium floor.
Where normally Joe would pick himself up, pull his pants up and carry on like a soldier, this time Joe was embarrassed beyond belief. This “pants-ing” had happened right in front of his middle-school crush.
Joe had wanted to ask this girl out for weeks, but … that’s just not how he rolled. [SPOILER: He rolled single and fucking awkward.]
Joe was boiling with rage, silently fuming until gym class was over. Tired of being Mr. Nice Guy, Joe began to plot. Yes, it was time to get tough.
In the locker room, Joe planned to slam the kid up against the lockers, saying a line he hand-crafted all himself: “I’m going to fuck you up so hard, your mom won’t even recognize you!”
Fuck yeah.
All the boys headed into the locker room, and Joe put his plan into motion. He grabbed the kid, slammed him into the lockers and yelled with all the fury of a pubescent boy: “I’m going to fuck you so hard, not even your mom will recognize you!”
Everyone just stared…stunned.
And then, the chanting began. “Big Gay Joe! Big Gay Joe!”
Joe may not have earned the respect he wanted that day, but he did earn a new nickname that carried into high school.
He showed him!
I kinda feel bad for him, poor Joe
Oh man…it’s tough being a kid! So glad Joe grew up to be happily married and the ‘star’ of a blog…way to hang in there, Joe!
sounds like something that would happen to me and my socially awkward ass.
I cringed for you, Joe! And I can totally see that happening to me, too.
What a badass.
Oh jeeze, please stop!! Joe is killing me!!
This is horrible. I will not laugh, I swear. Cannot type anymore tears blocking view.
I lmao’ed at your spoiler… I’m still giggling
My eyes jumped to the quote after reading about Joe’s crush. It might also have worked as a pick-up line, although only as well as it did as a threat.
I had a bad feeling about Joe’s hand-crafted line… funny stuff
Hey,you ever hear of something called a SPEW ALERT?? Goddamnit,Diet Coke on the keyboard.
Big gay Joe! Big gay Joe! Big gay Joe! Big gay Joe! Big gay Joe! Big gay Joe!
Uhbehdee-uhbehdee-uh…D’Oh! OOPS!
I actually LOL’d so hard I nearly choked on the sandwich that was in my mouth at the time. Poor Big Gay Joe. he he he
Oh, the humanity!
Hilarious!
Poor Joe! But it got you my nomination for an award. Check http://pleunblog.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/my-very-first-award/ for the details
Well, I hesitated about posting this thought for a week, but after reading several posts, I see a strange pattern here. There’s Joe’s buddy Pat, pulling his pants down and giving Joe an unpleasant surprise when Joe played the caterpillar game. Next, there’s Joe’s rage comic, where I suspect it was Pat’s little brother chasing Joe in a public shower, then taking a poop in the shower drain. Then, there’s Joe mistaking someone for a long lost buddy, wrapping his arms around him and swiping a fry from him, then finding out he made a huge mistake. I bet Joe thought that his long lost buddy was Pat. I also suspect that Pat decided to punk Joe after this episode in those caterpillar and shower episodes after Joe made his big gay gaffe.
The topic title alone had me giggling. As a fellow victim of being pants’ed in front of multiple attractive women I can feel Joe’s pain.If only he’d gotten his lines right. Damnit Joe….
I am currently fisiihnng up my BA in Child Development and Family Studies and thus far I have only work with children from 2 weeks to adolescent while helping support their families. The Physician that I would want to work under is an Obstetrics (OB) because they are in direct contact with pregnant women and their children during pregnancy. I would choose this particular specialty for a variety of reason such as having the opportunity to see individuals become parent for the first time, seeing how much love is surrounded in the process, being there to help the mothers while there in a vulnerable state. One of my main reasons is because I think that the whole birthing process is fascinating and to be able to be a part of family’s lives while going through this process, I imagine to be extremely rewarding.A of physician specialty that I would least want to work with would be a psychiatrist. Although I believe that psychiatrist do some spectacular work and help a lot of people through difficult situations I personally believe that this job would be to emotionally draining and overwhelming for me. This makes me question whether or not I would be able to handle it. When I set out to do a job my goal is to do the best that I can and I don’t feel that I could successfully do this job to the best of my ability.