A bunch of college friends, including Joe and I, were invited to stay at a friends’ beach house this past week. Since Joe and I live close to one another, we decided to make the 7+ hour ride together.
Yes, I know. Fuck me, right?
I’ll save that story for another time.
We hit absolutely no traffic during the trip down and arrived way earlier than expected. Our friend was still at work for another half hour, so Joe and I decided to hang out in Best Buy to pass the time.
We found an empty Wii station and began playing Mario Party. Joe and I are both very competitive, so we quickly entered the fucking zone. We played for well over a half hour. Little kids were coming up to the game, looking at us like we should take turns with them, but we held our territory firm. A Best Buy employee came over driving a fork lift, trying to get down the narrow aisle, but still we didn’t move. My friend texted me and said she was done with work–that we could now come to the house–but we just couldn’t leave. I mean, we were only two mini-games away from beating Koopa!
When we were finally done, basking in the glow of sweet victory, I turned to Joe for some sort of celebratory gesture (maybe a high-five? A fist bump? Fucking something!), but his head was down.
I didn’t know what he was doing until he looked up at me, mortified.
“My fly was down this whole time!”
Now, laughter may not have been the correct response from me, judging by Joe’s face, but laughter is what I produced.
“This isn’t funny! he said. “So embarrassing. Why don’t they have some sort of alert system for this kind of thing?!”
And then, he went into Joe’s Shitty Idea Land.
“Yes, a Your-fly-is-down Alert System! I could rig a wire that loops around the top of the zipper-pull and attaches to the button. You’d have to fasten it every time you put your pants on. And if it wasn’t fastened for longer than a minute, an alarm would sound! No one would ever have to suffer this embarrassment ever again.”
Yes, because a beeping crotch is much less embarrassing than your zipper being down. ಠ_ಠ